Lessons from Old Testament Bible Stories

There is not one reference in the Bible condemning

 woman on woman sex, and all of the restructions 

to man on man sex seem to be restricted to anal sex.  

I say to my liberal friends they ought to pick up their Bibles and actually read it.  You might learn something.  There are a lot of simple "life lessons" the Bible teaches covering an amazingly vast array of subjects and we're going to hop-scotch around these here.  The first principle is "The curse without a cause does not come".  This is something I have believed most of my Christian life, though I've had lapses of doubt.  Our first two stories kind of illustrate the same thing.  In one case you have a man behaving like an ass, and in the other you have an ass behaving like a man.  In the story of Baalem, he was out to curse God's people.  So he mounted his ass and went tword the city.  But along the trail his ass balked at going further and began talking back to him saying that what he intended to do was wrong.  And when he actually got to the Israeli camp, all he could do was to Bless the people he intended to Curse because they had done nothing wrong.  In the case of Jacob and Esau - - Jacob had heard reports that Esau was headed his way with a hundred mounted cammels and all.  He worried all night and metaphorically wrestled with the problem, but the next day his brother Esau had no animosity tword him at all and the meeting was peaceful and tranquel.  In the case of Jonah you again have the reluctant prophet.  Sometimes God overrides the intensions of man to mess up his Will.  Jonah wanted the city of Ninavah to burn- - - and he preached a very harsh message.  But the King declared worship of the Hebrew God and ordered a day of prayer and fasting to him and the people repented in sack cloth and ashes.  So indeed sometimes God will forgive people under conditions where man would rather not.  Like in the case of President Obama back four years ago you had Hillary Clinton and the 3 AM phone call, and lack of foreign policy experiance, and the President was born in Kenya and was a Moslem and hung around with terrorists like Bill Ayres and socialist groups like Acorn.  Now four years later we know that NONE of this is the case.  Yet the Republicans still act as though it were.  There are stories against both human greed and the notion of "what's mine is mine and the Government isn't going to get any of it".  You would read the story of Nabal for this.  Nabal was called a fool, and he paid the ultimate price for his hardened, selfish and presumptuous attitude.  But there is another story against looters.  One time an employee of a prophet named Gehazai - - was jealous of his boss.  And so falsely represented himself as speaking Words of his Master that his Master had not spoken.  And he perswaded King Naaman- - to give him twenty changes of Royal garments contrary to God's expressed desires.  The man was cursed with leporicy.  You have two stories of Samson that illustrate the principle that keeping Some secrets is not only OK but downright essential.  This idea of "Never withholding the truth even from your enemies- - is a completely unbiblical one.  First there was the riddle he gave away of "What is stronger than a Lion or sweeter than honey?"  And more famously is the secret of his strength being in his long hair.  In the story of David and Johnathin you have the lesson that sometimes eating straight sugar can be good for you, and don't believe all this hypoglycemia crap.  Because of eating honey from a bee hive, Johnathin and David were able to assault a cliff to the Philistine fortress and win a vital battle- - all on account of consuming sweets.  There is another story about King Naaman on the principle of both showing a little humility and "following instructions".  In this case it was to come to Palestine and dunk yourself seven times in the Jordan River to be cured of your leporacy.  In the story of David and Goliath you have the principle of Jealousy coming to the fore, and this Bin Laden thing highlights this.  You have King Saul mocking David saying "He could never bring down Goliath' and yet David went and did just that.  When someone you have Jealousy about does a great deed the smartest thing you can do is to just Shut Up about it.  But the Republicans won't do that.  They will yack away and say "Oh - we could have done it better and sooner" when they are just blowing smoke out their ass.  Stay tuned for the rest of this posting.

Rush Limbaugh today was saying that Dick Lugar of Indiana is in big trouble because he is being "primaried" by the Tea Party even though Lugar himself is pretty Conservative.  Lugar is not asking democrats to vote for him.  Rush thinks this is funny.  What will be very un funny when this overconfidence of the tea party gets slaughtered in the election this November.  Apparently Oren Hatch of Utah is not even imune to this tea party onslaught even though he's staunchly conservative.  Of course the reason why the tea party is so down on the nominee of their party this year and four years ago is because NO political party has ever run such a right wing nominee as they envision.

In the interest of political correctness, J C Penney is now featuring lezbian women in their catalog adds apparently.  You have two women holding hands both wearing wedding rings or something.  However Vogue Magazine has also gone P C not only in requiring that none of their models be under sixteen, but also in overtly rejecting any models they regard as "too thin" because models that are excessively thin are deemed as unnatural- - and unwholesome to promote in their adds.  Good move!  A six year old boy was suspended from school because of "sexual harrassment' singing the lyrics of "I'm sexy and I know it" to all the little girls he came around.  That's more funny than anything else.

You heard the story about how sometimes Dog is "Dog's best friend".  One traumatized and shy black dog came out of his shell when he came accross another who needed him, and he grew in confidence. It seems he was paired up with a brown dog who was blind, and now a dog is "seeing eye dog" to another dog leading him around.  Most certainly the black dog has to know that the brown dog cannot see.  It's just a touching animal bonding moment.

Now Ted Nugent is saying he never threatened anybody and the Secret Service agents said "We never thought you threatened anybody" and Nugent had a "delightful" conversation with them for forty minutes and presumably never heard from them again.  Nugent says he "feels sorry for liberals".  He says people should listen to his words more closely and realize he wasn't threatening anybody.  Ted then went on to discuss what a nice and compassionate guy he is with impoverished kids and all, kind of like "Make a wish".  Hummm?

Dr. Oz has some sure fire sleep remedies.  Women can't sleep because they get hot flashes due to a drop in estrogen and it's often the first sign of "perry-menopause" even in their thirties.  You take 600 mg of calcium and 400 mg of magnesium two hours before bed time.  Dr. Oz suggests you retire at ten o clock because this is a melotonin peak and after this the "sleep window" closes.  So you take the vitamin pills at eight.  At nine you eat a bread pudding desert made from bread and apercots and other fruits and sweetened with "agave and honey" to cut down on the sugar rush.  You drink it with camamile tea, which has sedative qualities to it and is also good for colds.  Then at 9:15 you breathe in lavender scent from a vaporizer because the scene of lavender bypasses the higher centers of the brain and settles the anxiety center.  Then at nine thirty you turn down the heat, perhaps to deal with the hot flashes.  He has some egg device you can buy that gives you color cues.  Also the woman is instructed to take no phone calls after nine thirty lest they upset her.  Then at 9:15 you engage in muscle relaxation exercises, and lights go out at ten.  It sounds simple, but does it work?